“The biggest mistake you’ve made is self-pity.” – Red Tails
That line really stuck out to me. I won’t say self-pity is a mistake but self-pity for an extended period of time – yes. OR self-pity as a crutch – yes.
We all get down – and sometimes it’s easy to slip into just feeling bad for yourself or that “why me” “what am I doing wrong” feeling – I can be guilty of this at times but – I’ve learned to give myself a moping window. A time frame. I can only walk around feeling sorry for myself but so long. Really. You can’t dodge these times from happening but you can learn to deal with them efficiently.
Everyone has their suggestions as to how much time you need to cope and get yourself together and yes that is true but the real goal in that time of pity, doubt or depression is to identify WHAT GOT YOU into this mode. I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be that LONG. You control how long you want a situation to consume your life. Really. REMOVE IT, ISOLATE IT. No No wait, analyze it – make sure you understand why the occurrence happened – what was your involvement then accept it and move on. I believe everything that happens to you happens to prepare you for your true purpose, calling or role(s) in this world. And many times we have way more than one role. I am now convinced that God is telling me I need to develop a thicker skin – he’s already showed me what my purpose is – but unless I learn how to let things roll off my back – things will be delayed. One of my biggest problems used to be letting things bother me. I mean I used to get hung up on it and dwell. BIG MISTAKE. I just kept retelling the situation – over and over. Do you know how much time wasted that is? Like 12,000 hrs or something like that 🙂 I now know and accept that my sensitivity is a gift and curse – and I’ve learned to accept it as such. In order for me to do what I want to do – my sensitivity is a big part of relating to people – so – I learned to prepare myself for situations that may sting – fix it up really quick and move on! No joke. This is the correlation I hope you guys are able to recognize in your own lives. Everything is connected in your development. So ask yourself – Why, especially if they are reoccurring – do these situations KEEP happening? Look inward, outward – left and right. And be honest. Do you need to be more confident (don’t we all), validation, lost, confused, repeated bad relationships, career, etc. Once you figure this out – and become aware – you can really begin to stay the course – and roll with the punches – fight back – get better -get better – get BETTER.
Whatever you do, don’t give up – remember. THINK.PLAN.BLOOM. You’re human – life is going to be full of highs and lows – in either case you have to know how to deal and get through the lows especially. Put together a compilation of songs that instantly get you out of your funk, books, QUOTES – friends, you name it. I’m telling you guys it works. Call it your “B-Resilient Plan”. Over the last few years since being out of college I have had my fair share of downs and doubts stemming from career to a failed relationship but I’ve trained myself to find the lesson or accept that TEMPORARY state and be grateful I’m still here to change my outcome. Some situations are harder than others, they are. They just are. I always go back to my original goal and purpose and nothing brings me out of the slump faster and more self-gratification or reassurance that “this too shall pass” because “the best is yet to come.” Stay focused. Stay in your ZONE! (Just not your comfort zone!).
Self-pity = bad
Self-validation = good